Friday, June 24, 2011

Fwd: Stress Management Techniques



Subject: an eight-step stress management technique Just in case you've had a rough day, here's an eight-step stress management technique recommended in the latest psychological texts.

1. Picture yourself near a stream.

2. Birds are softly chirping in the cool mountain air.

3. No one but you knows your secret place.

4. You are in total seclusion from the hectic world.

5. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.

6. The water is crystal clear.

7. You can easily make out the face of the person you're holding underwater.

8. See? You're smiling already.





--
         Mahesh

Monday, June 20, 2011

Fwd: Few jokes.





Physics would have been much much Easier...
If..
If..
If..
If..
The Tree itself had Fallen On Newton's Head Instead of the Apple..!!


*****************************************************************
How Newton Died?
.
.
He died After seen South Indian Movies..
.
Coz He Couldnt Bear Rajnikant Breakin All The Law Of Physics which He
Made...

**************************************************************
Moral of the movie ROBOT-
.
...
.

A girl can not only spoil a man but also machines ;-)

*****************************************************

Gals Language:
Stupid(U r Smart)
Idiot(U r Cute)
Shut up(I Luv u)
I'll kill u(I'll die 4 u)
GN(All slept u can cal me nw)


****************************************************************

When Alchohol is consumed,
Whatever is in the mind comes out...


So I suggest all students to drink before writing da exams.

****************************************************************
You know a
Crazy fact of todays generation
:Once upon a time, GIRLS used to cook like their mothers.
But now they drink like their Fathers...!!!

****************************************************************

A Sign At A Petrol pump ...


"Plz ... Don't Smoke Here ... Your Life May Be Worthless,
But
Petrol Certainly Isn't...!"

****************************************************************
The real problem does not start when a boy starts looking at girl.
It begins when she turn back and gives a smile.

****************************************************************

Earlier
Luv Startd wid Eyes
Grew wid Gifts
Ended wid Tears


Now: Luv Starts frm Cellphone
Grows wid Msgs
&
Ends wid "Upbhogta Kisi aur Call par Vyast hai " . (Person you are Calling is Buzy with some other Call)

****************************************************************
When u read a love message,
U never think of the person who sent u the sms..
But u think of the person whom u love the most!!
STRANGE..

sala kharcha kiska
au
r
Charcha kiska! !!!

****************************************************************

The Trouble With The World Is That,
The Stupid's Are Full Of Confidence And
The Intelligents Are Full Of Doubts …!!!

*******************************************************************
A student grabbed a coin,

Flipped it in the air & said,
"Head, I go to sleep."

Tail, I watch a movie.

If it stands on the edge I'll study:
J


-- 
         Mahesh

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Fwd: Bungling Burglar Stories





True Funny Police Story

A bank robber in Virginia Beach Virginia, USA got a nasty surprise when a dye pack designed to mark stolen money exploded in his trousers.
The robber apparently stuffed the loot down the front of his pants as he was running out the door.
A police spokesman informed us, 'He was seen hopping and jumping around with an explosion taking place inside his pants.'
Police have the man's charred trousers safely in custody.

==============================================================

 Ten Bungling Burglar Stories

1. Investigating a purse snatching in Brunswick, Georgia, detectives picked up a man who fit the thief's description and drove him back to the scene. He was told to exit the car and face the victim for an ID. The suspect dutifully eyed the victim, and blurted, 'Yeah, that's the woman I robbed.'

2. In Nashville, they tell of a burglar who fell asleep on the sofa of the home he was robbing, only to be awakened by police.

3. In Thibodaux, Louisiana, a robber with a thick Cajun accent couldn't get restaurant patrons to understand his demand for money. Frustrated, he whipped out his gun, but it wouldn't fire. Grabbing the cash register, he ran......but got only three feet before falling down. The register was still plugged into the wall. Unplugging it, he tried again, but a diner knocked him to the him and called the police.

4. In Rhode Island, police were sure they had the right man when the suspect in a string of coin-machine thefts paid his $400 bail entirely in quarters.

5. Texas authorities, responding to a store robbery, seized a man who was fleeing naked. He said he'd stripped after the job because he figured his clothes would make him identifiable.

6. In Lawrence, Kansas, officers tracked a midnight thief who prided himself on his running speed by following the red lights on his high-tech tennis shoes.

7. In Virginia, a janitor went to great lengths to avoid ID. in a "Seven-Eleven" robbery, using a ski mask and rental car for the occasion. But he also wore his work uniform, which said "Cedar Woods Apartments" and had his name, Dwayne, stitched across the front.

8. Two robbers in Michigan, USA, entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, 'Nobody move!' When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.

9. A robber, in a town in Germany, was caught after he escaped with his swag but he left his trousers behind. Police successfully arrested him at a railway station trying to board a train in his underpants. You couldn't invent these funny occurrences.

10.A bungling Australian car thief was nabbed after accidentally locking himself in the vehicle he was trying to steal in Adelaide, Australia.

=================================================================

--

         Mahesh

Monday, June 6, 2011

Fwd: It does happen.





It Happens !!




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FAMILY PLANNING






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THE AXE EFFECT





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Bai Power





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THE GREAT INDIAN ONION ROBBERY






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BURA MAT DEKHOOOOO






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--
         Mahesh

Fwd: Signs of The Times.




Signs of the Times




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--
         Mahesh