Fwd: Is there anything that Rajini Can't ?

• Rajinikanth once ordered a plate of idli in McDonald's, and got it
• Rajinikanth will attain separate statehood in 2013.
• Rajinikanth doesn't move at the speed of light. Light moves at the speed of Rajinikanth.
• Rajnikanth can divide by zero.
• Rajinikanth can slam a revolving door.
• Rajinikanth destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
• Rajinikanth has counted to infinity, twice.
• Rajinikanth once got into a knife-fight. The knife lost.
• Rajinikanth never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself in fear.
• There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Rajinikanth lives in Chennai.
• Rajinikanth does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold.
• Rajinikanth knows Victoria's secret.
• Water boils faster when Rajinikanth stares at it.
• Rajinikanth kills two stones with one bird.
• Google won't find Rajinikanth because you don't find Rajinikanth; Rajinikanth finds you.
• Rajinikanth can answer a missed call.
• Rajinikanth can speak Braille.
• Rajinikanth can dodge Chuck Norris' roundhouse kicks.
• Rajinikanth calls Voldemort by his name.
• Chuck Norris once met Rajinikanth. The result - He was reduced to a joke on the internet.
• Rajinikanth's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth.
• Rajinikanth grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
• Rajinikanth once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
• Rajinikanth doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
• In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajinikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.
• Rajinikanth doesn't need a visa to travel abroad, he just jumps from the tallest building in Chennai and holds himself in the air while the earth rotates.
• Archaeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Rajinikanth".
• There is no such thing as global warming. Rajinikanth was feeling cold, so brought the sun closer to heat the earth up.
• Rajinikanth's first job was as a bus conductor. There were no survivors.

and the best of all:
     Rajinikanth knows what women really want. :P

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         Mahesh

Fwd: Modern days!

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         Mahesh

Fwd: Reasons to avoid talking on the Phone.

10 Reasons to avoid talking on the Phone.

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         Mahesh

Fwd: Oh, Those Darn Lawyers.

Oh, Those Darn Lawyers

Two lawyers, Jon and Amanpreet, head out for their usual 9 holes of golf. Jon offers Amanpreet a $50 bet. Amanpreet agrees and they're off. They shoot a great game. After the 8th hole, Amanpreet is ahead by one stroke, but cuts his ball into the rough on the 9th.


''Help me find my ball. Look over there,'' he says to Jon. After a few minutes, neither has any luck. Since a lost ball carries a four point penalty, Amanpreet secretly pulls a ball from his pocket and tosses it to the ground. ''I've found my ball!'' he announces.


''After all of the years we've been partners and playing together," Jon says, "you'd cheat me out of a lousy 50 bucks?''


''What do you mean, cheat? I found my ball sitting right there!''


''And you're a liar, too!'' Jon says. ''I'll have you know I've been STANDING on your ball for the last five minutes!''

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         Mahesh

Fwd: Wise words.

WISE WORDS

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.

Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.

We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.

The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.

The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.

A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

A bicycle can't stand alone, it is two tired.

A will is a dead giveaway.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

A backward poet writes inverse.

In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.

The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.

You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.

He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.



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         Mahesh

Fwd: A true food story.

Only in America - Allegedly true food story from the USA

FBI agents conducted a raid of a psychiatric hospital in San Diego that was under investigation for medical insurance fraud.

After hours of reviewing thousands of medical records, the dozens of agents had worked up quite an appetite. The agent in charge of the investigation called a nearby pizza parlor with delivery service to order a quick dinner for his colleagues.

The following telephone conversation took place and was recorded by the FBI because they were taping all conversations at the hospital:

Agent: Hello. I'd like to order 19 large pizzas and 67 cans of soda.
Pizza Man: And where would you like them delivered?

Agent: We're over at the psychiatric hospital.
Pizza Man: The psychiatric hospital?

Agent: That's right. I'm an FBI agent.
Pizza Man: You're an FBI agent?

Agent: That's correct. Just about everybody here is.
Pizza Man: And you're at the psychiatric hospital?

Agent: That's correct. And make sure you don't go through the front doors. We have them locked. You'll have to go around to the back service entrance to deliver the pizzas.
Pizza Man: And you say you're all FBI agents?

Agent: That's right. How soon can you have them here?
Pizza Man: Everyone at the psychiatric hospital is an FBI agent?

Agent: That's right. We've been here all day and we're starving.
Pizza Man: How are you going to pay for all of this?

Agent: I have my checkbook right here.
Pizza Man: And you're all FBI agents?

Agent: That's right. Everyone here is an FBI agent. Can you remember to bring the pizzas and sodas to the service entrance in the rear? We have the front doors locked.

Pizza Man: I don't think so. *Click*




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         Mahesh

Fwd: The Other side of Mount Rushmore.

I am sure you have seen this photo before.

But have you ever wondered

What's on the other side of the mountain?!

Itsss

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         Mahesh

Fwd: Work or Prison?

IN PRISON AT WORK you spend the majority of your time in an 8'X10' cell . you spend most of your time in a 6'X8' cubicle .. IN PRISON AT WORK you get three meals a day (free). you only get a break for one meal and probably have to pay for it yourself .                 IN PRISON AT WORK you get time off for good behavior. you get rewarded for good behavior with more WORK.   IN PRISON AT WORK a guard locks and unlocks the doors for you .. you must carry around a security card and unlock open all the doors yourself .   IN PRISON AT WORK you can watch TV and play games. you get fired for watching TV and playing games.   IN PRISON AT WORK you get your own toilet . you have to share .     IN PRISON they allow your family and friends to visit.       AT WORK you can not even speak to your family and friends.           IN PRISON   AT WORK     all expenses are paid by taxpayers with no work at all. You get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for the prisoners.                                                               Hmmm? Which Sounds Better? So what are you waiting for.........

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         Mahesh