Fwd: Angry Birds in action

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         Mahesh

Fwd: Future News!!

Future News:- 

Kasab dies of old age. (=| 

Golmaal 27 will be released. :> 
Tushar Kapur is still unable 2 speak {Or act!}(n) 

Sharad Pawar owns half the world. :O 

Clean shaven men refuse 2 travel alone in late night cabs. :p 

Facebook is declared a country. B) 

Minister under scrutinity for not scamming. *nerd* 

A Raja does a 6G scam. =)] 

A Girl in Delhi travels safely within 50 feet.;;) 

Lakhshwadeep lions 2 be the 63rd team 2 join IPL. =D 

Pakistan wants Tamil Nadu. :| 
PM says that they can resolve issues by peaceful talks. #:-s 

Himesh Reshammiya arrested 4 provoking suicides by singing 4 a charity event. =D=))=D 

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         Mahesh

Fwd: Indian Current Affairs 2011

Indian Current Affairs 2011

 

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         Mahesh

Fwd: IQ problem

Mensa is an organization whose members have an IQ of 140 or higher. A few years ago, there was a Mensa convention in San Francisco, and several members lunched at a local cafe. While dining, they discovered that their salt shaker actually contained pepper and their pepper shaker was full of salt. How could they swap the contents of the bottles without spilling, and using only the implements at hand? Clearly this was a job for Mensa! The group debated and presented ideas, and finally came up with a brilliant solution involving a napkin, a straw, and an empty saucer. They called the waitress over to dazzle her with their solution. "Ma'am," they said, "we couldn't help but notice that the pepper shaker contains salt and the salt shaker..." "Oh," the waitress interrupted. "Sorry about that." She unscrewed the caps of both bottles and switched them.




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         Mahesh

Fwd: Stress Management Techniques

Subject: an eight-step stress management technique Just in case you've had a rough day, here's an eight-step stress management technique recommended in the latest psychological texts.

1. Picture yourself near a stream.

2. Birds are softly chirping in the cool mountain air.

3. No one but you knows your secret place.

4. You are in total seclusion from the hectic world.

5. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.

6. The water is crystal clear.

7. You can easily make out the face of the person you're holding underwater.

8. See? You're smiling already.

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         Mahesh

Fwd: Few jokes.

Physics would have been much much Easier...
If..
If..
If..
If..
The Tree itself had Fallen On Newton's Head Instead of the Apple..!!

*****************************************************************
How Newton Died?
.
.
He died After seen South Indian Movies..
.
Coz He Couldnt Bear Rajnikant Breakin All The Law Of Physics which He
Made...

**************************************************************
Moral of the movie ROBOT-
.
...
.

A girl can not only spoil a man but also machines ;-)

*****************************************************

Gals Language:
Stupid(U r Smart)
Idiot(U r Cute)
Shut up(I Luv u)
I'll kill u(I'll die 4 u)
GN(All slept u can cal me nw)


****************************************************************

When Alchohol is consumed,
Whatever is in the mind comes out...


So I suggest all students to drink before writing da exams.

****************************************************************
You know a
Crazy fact of todays generation
:Once upon a time, GIRLS used to cook like their mothers.
But now they drink like their Fathers...!!!

****************************************************************

A Sign At A Petrol pump ...


"Plz ... Don't Smoke Here ... Your Life May Be Worthless,
But
Petrol Certainly Isn't...!"

****************************************************************
The real problem does not start when a boy starts looking at girl.
It begins when she turn back and gives a smile.

****************************************************************

Earlier
Luv Startd wid Eyes
Grew wid Gifts
Ended wid Tears


Now: Luv Starts frm Cellphone
Grows wid Msgs
&
Ends wid "Upbhogta Kisi aur Call par Vyast hai " . (Person you are Calling is Buzy with some other Call)

****************************************************************
When u read a love message,
U never think of the person who sent u the sms..
But u think of the person whom u love the most!!
STRANGE..

sala kharcha kiska
aur
Charcha kiska! !!!

****************************************************************

The Trouble With The World Is That,

The Stupid's Are Full Of Confidence And
The Intelligents Are Full Of Doubts …!!!

*******************************************************************
A student grabbed a coin,

Flipped it in the air & said,
"Head, I go to sleep."

Tail, I watch a movie.

If it stands on the edge I'll study: J

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         Mahesh

Fwd: Bungling Burglar Stories

True Funny Police Story

A bank robber in Virginia Beach Virginia, USA got a nasty surprise when a dye pack designed to mark stolen money exploded in his trousers.
The robber apparently stuffed the loot down the front of his pants as he was running out the door.
A police spokesman informed us, 'He was seen hopping and jumping around with an explosion taking place inside his pants.'
Police have the man's charred trousers safely in custody.

==============================================================

 Ten Bungling Burglar Stories

1. Investigating a purse snatching in Brunswick, Georgia, detectives picked up a man who fit the thief's description and drove him back to the scene. He was told to exit the car and face the victim for an ID. The suspect dutifully eyed the victim, and blurted, 'Yeah, that's the woman I robbed.'

2. In Nashville, they tell of a burglar who fell asleep on the sofa of the home he was robbing, only to be awakened by police.

3. In Thibodaux, Louisiana, a robber with a thick Cajun accent couldn't get restaurant patrons to understand his demand for money. Frustrated, he whipped out his gun, but it wouldn't fire. Grabbing the cash register, he ran......but got only three feet before falling down. The register was still plugged into the wall. Unplugging it, he tried again, but a diner knocked him to the him and called the police.

4. In Rhode Island, police were sure they had the right man when the suspect in a string of coin-machine thefts paid his $400 bail entirely in quarters.

5. Texas authorities, responding to a store robbery, seized a man who was fleeing naked. He said he'd stripped after the job because he figured his clothes would make him identifiable.

6. In Lawrence, Kansas, officers tracked a midnight thief who prided himself on his running speed by following the red lights on his high-tech tennis shoes.

7. In Virginia, a janitor went to great lengths to avoid ID. in a "Seven-Eleven" robbery, using a ski mask and rental car for the occasion. But he also wore his work uniform, which said "Cedar Woods Apartments" and had his name, Dwayne, stitched across the front.

8. Two robbers in Michigan, USA, entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, 'Nobody move!' When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.

9. A robber, in a town in Germany, was caught after he escaped with his swag but he left his trousers behind. Police successfully arrested him at a railway station trying to board a train in his underpants. You couldn't invent these funny occurrences.

10.A bungling Australian car thief was nabbed after accidentally locking himself in the vehicle he was trying to steal in Adelaide, Australia.

=================================================================

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         Mahesh

Fwd: It does happen.

It Happens !!

FAMILY PLANNING

THE AXE EFFECT

Bai Power

THE GREAT INDIAN ONION ROBBERY

BURA MAT DEKHOOOOO

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         Mahesh

Fwd: Signs of The Times.

Signs of the Times

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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         Mahesh

Fwd: Lawyer jokes.

Lawyers are often the butt of jokes throughout the world. Here are some splendid examples, taken from stenographer's transcripts of real court cases.

Q: Have you lived in this town all your life?
A: Not yet.

Q: ... any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?
A: The victim lived.

Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
A: Yes, I have been since early childhood.

Q: Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?
A: No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region.

Q: What is your brother-in-law's name?
A: Fowler
Q: What's his first name?
A: I can't remember.
Q: He's been your brother-in-law for years, and you can't remember his first name?
A: No. I tell you I'm too excited. (Rising from the witness chair and pointing to Mr. Fowler). Derek, for goodness sake, tell them your first name.

Q: Did you tell your lawyer that your husband had offered you indignities?
A: He didn't offer me anything; he just said I could have the furniture.

Q: What is your name?
A: Geraldine McNally
Q: And what is your marital status?
A: Fair

Q: Are you married?
A: No, I'm divorced.
Q: And what did your husband do before you divorced him?
A: A lot of things I didn't know about.


Q: Mrs. Warren, is your appearance this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your solicitor?
A: No. This is how I always dress when I go to work.
Q: Did he pick the dog up by the ears?
A: No.
Q: What was he doing with the dog's ears?
A: Picking them up in the air.
Q: Where was the dog at this time?
A: Attached to the ears.

Q: ...and what did he do then?
A: He came home and next morning he was dead.
Q: So when he woke up the next morning he was dead?

Q: Could you see him from where you were standing?
A: I could see his head.
Q: And where was his head?
A: Just above his shoulders.

Q: The truth of the matter is that you were not an unbiased, objective witness, isn't it. You, too, were shot in the fracas?
A: No, sir. I was shot midway between the fracas and the naval.

Q: Now, Mrs Brown, how was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And, by whose death was it terminated?

Q: Do you know how far pregnant you are right now?
A: I will be three months November 8th.
Q: Apparently then, the date of conception was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: What were you and your husband doing at that time?

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies have been on dead people.

Q: Did the lady standing the driveway subsequently identify herself to you?
A: Yes, she did.
Q: Who did she say she was?
A: She said she was the owner of the dog's wife.

Q: I understand you're Donald Rowbotham's mother.
A: Yes.
Q: How long have you known him?

Q: Please state the location of your right foot immediately prior to impact.
A: Immediately before the impact, my right foot was located at the immediate end of my right leg.

Q: Was that the same nose you broke as a child?

Q: What happened then?
A: He told me, he says, "I have to kill you because you can identify me."
Q: Did he kill you?

Q: Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?

Q: Were you alone or by yourself?

Q: How long have you been a French Canadian?

Q: Do you have any children or anything of that kind?

Q: So you were gone until you returned?

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         Mahesh

Fwd: Importance of exercise!

HEALTH MESSAGE:
1. If walking/cycling is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.
2. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water and is fat.
3. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years.
4. A tortoise doesn't run, does nothing ..yet lives for 450 years.
AND

YOU TELL ME TO EXERCISE!



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         Mahesh

Fwd: Petrol price hike.

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         Mahesh

Fwd: Murphy's Law.

* Murphy's Law - Always strikes on Friday

If anything can go wrong, it will go wrong.

I have traced 'Murphy's law back to a Captain Edward A. Murphy, an American engineer at Muroc, California (later named Edwards Air Force Base).  In 1949 he was working on a project to test the effects of sudden braking.  Time after time his machinery failed, exasperated he said of his technician, "If there is any way to do it wrong, he'll find it."  John Paul Stapp picked up on Murphy's phrase and used at a press conference.

As with any good idea, Murphy's Law can be adapted and extended.

1st Amendment
If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.

2nd Amendment
If you realize that there are three possible ways in which something can go wrong, and cover them all, then a fourth, unprepared for way, will miraculously appear out of thin air.

3rd Amendment
When something breaks, the parts damaged are in direct proportion to their value.

4th Amendment
The failure does not appear until the machinery has passed its final inspection.

5th Amendment
When you drop a part, it always rolls into the darkest corner.

Last Amendment
Any attempt to print out this copy of Murphy's law will crash the computer.

* Examples of Murphy's Law

Your lost needle will be found by your husband when he is walking around barefoot.

The worst pupil in any class will be a school governors' son.
Uniforms only come in two sizes, too large and too small.
Vital documents that were posted with no errors, will develop errors in the mail.

Murphy's Law of DIY (Do-It-Yourself )
Any project will require at least two journeys to the hardware shop.

If you need more than one item (pair, four, etc) the probability that one will be damaged or the wrong colour is directly proportional to the desire or need of the object.
You always need more paint.

You never have enough nails, screws or glue.

The likelihood that you will complete a weekend project before the end of the weekend decreases with when you actually start the project.

Therefore: Any plumbing project started after 4pm on Sunday will require an emergency call to the plumber to get the water running again.

To estimate the amount of time needed to complete a project: estimate the amount of time needed, multiply by two and use the next highest unit. Hence: A one hour task will take at least two days to complete.

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         Mahesh

Fwd: They had internet in Stone age.

 

DID YOU KNOW?

THEY HAD INTERNET IN STONE AGE

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         Mahesh