Fwd: I got my Appraisal.

Your Boss, You & Your Target.

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         Mahesh

Fwd: Dear Abby letters..

Dear Abby,

I have never written to you before, but I really need your advice.  I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs. phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up.

My wife has been going out with 'the girls' a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, 'just some friends from work, you don't know them.' I always try to stay awake to look out for her coming home, but I usually fall asleep. Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her.

Around midnight, I decided to hide in the garage behind my golf clubs so I could get a good view of the whole street when she arrived home from a night out with 'the girls'. It was at that moment, crouching behind my clubs, that I noticed that the graphite shaft on my driver appeared to have a hairline crack right by the club head.

Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the golf shop where I bought it?

Thanks Jim

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* Another Batch of 'Dear Abby' Letters

Dear Abby, I've suspected that my husband has been fooling around, and when confronted with the evidence, he denied everything, and then said it would never happen again.

Dear Abby, I joined the Navy to see the world.  Now I've seen it, how do I get out?

Dear Abby, My forty year old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50.00 an hour every week for two and a half years. He must be crazy.

Dear Abby, I was married to Bill for three months and I didn't know he drank until one night he came home sober.

Dear Abby, My mother is mean and short tempered; I think she is going through mental pause.

         Mahesh

Fwd: Different meanings!

Eight Different Meanings, Depending On Where In The Sentence You Place The Word.

1. ONLY I hit him in the eye yesterday. (No one else did)

2. I ONLY hit him in the eye yesterday. (Did not slap him)

3. I hit ONLY him in the eye yesterday. (I did not hit others)

4. I hit him ONLY in the eye yesterday. (I did not hit outside the eye)

5. I hit him in ONLY the eye yesterday. (Not other organs)

6. I hit him in the ONLY eye yesterday. (He doesn't have another eye)

7. I hit him in the eye ONLY yesterday. (Not today)

8. I hit him in the eye yesterday ONLY. (Did not wait for today)

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         Mahesh

Fwd: Jokes

Things you don't wanna hear in operation theater:

• "Bonzo! Come back with that! Bad dog!"
• "Wait a minute. If this is his spleen, then what's that?"
• "Oh no, I just lost my watch".
• "Oops. Has anyone survived 500ml of this stuff before?"
• "You know, there's big money in kidneys. Hell, the guy's got two of them".
• "Everybody stand back – I lost my contact lens".
• "Could you stop that thing from thumping? It's throwing my concentration off".
• "That's cool! Now, can you make his leg twitch?"
• "I wish I hadn't forgotten my glasses .."
• "This patient has already had some kids, right?"
• "What do you mean, he wasn't in for a sex change?"
• ".. and now we remove the subject's brain and place it in the body of the ape".
• "Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy".

Nautical Joke

This is the transcript of the actual conversation of a US naval ship with the Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995 - radio conversation released by Chief of Naval Operations 10/10/95.
Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.
Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the north.
Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.
Americans: This is the captain of a US navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
Canadians: No. I say again, divert YOUR course.
Americans: This is the aircraft carrier USS Lincoln, the second biggest ship in the United States Atlantic fleet. We are accompanied by three destroyers, three cruisers and numerous support vessels. I demand that you change YOUR course 15 degrees north. That's one five degrees north, or counter measures will be taken to ensure the safety of this ship.
Canadians: We are a lighthouse. Your call.

Funniest Joke in the world

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods, when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead. What can I do?" The operator, in a calm soothing voice, says: "Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead". There is silence; then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: "OK, now what?"


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         Mahesh

Fwd: New engagement ring :)

 

 

PS: Its an onion. ;)
Now-a-days, not only onions, but their prices also bring tears.

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         Mahesh

Fwd: Interesting Charts

Interesting Charts

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         Mahesh

Fwd: Funny N Interesting ....?

Funny N Interesting !

 

Some of the most amazingly funny and 
interesting facts that can be easily 
remembered, and actually we can 
improve our general knowledge a bit too.

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         Mahesh

Fwd: IDIOTS....??

IDIOTS...??

If a girl is in Love , her parents wil ask "who's that idiot?"
If a boy is in Love, his parents ask "Idiot, who's that girl?"

Derivation:
No matter who is in love, boys are always idiots

Proposed theory:
Boys are normal before love, but become idiots after they fall in love

Concluded theory:
Girls always love Idiots....

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         Mahesh