Fwd: Funny Toons.

Funny Toons

--
         Mahesh

Fwd: Going Inner - Cartoons.

Going Inner - Cartoons :)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

--
         Mahesh

Re: Top This One For Speeding

sorry guys, just learned that its a hoax!
http://www.godlikeproductions.com/forum1/message492775/pg1

:)

On Mon, Oct 18, 2010 at 4:01 PM, Mahe <yesmahesh@gmail.com> wrote:

Two Texas Highway Patrol Officers were conducting speeding enforcement on Hwy 77, just south of Kingsville , Tx.

One of the officers was using a hand held radar device to check speeding vehicles approaching the town of Kingsville . The officers were suddenly surprised when the radar gun began reading 300 miles per hour and climbing.

The officer attempted to reset the radar gun, but it would not reset and then it suddenly turned off.

Just then a deafening roar over the Mesquite treetops on Hwy 77 revealed that the radar had in fact locked on to a USMC F/A-18 Hornet which was engaged in a low flying exercise near this, it's Naval Air home base location in Kingsville Tx.

Back at the Texas Highway Patrol Headquarters in Corpus Christi the Patrol Captain fired off a complaint to the US Naval Base Commander in Kingsville for shutting down his equipment.

The reply came back in true USMC style:

'Thank you for your letter...

You may be interested to know that the tactical computer in the Hornet had detected the presence of, and subsequently locked on to, your hostile radar equipment and automatically sent a jamming signal back to it, which is why it shut down.

Furthermore, an Air-to-Ground missile aboard the fully armed aircraft had also automatically locked on to your equipment's location.

Fortunately, the Marine Pilot flying the Hornet recognized the situation for what it was, quickly responded to the missile system alert status and was able to override the automated defence system before the missile was launched to destroy the hostile radar position on the side of Hwy 77 So. of Kingsville ...

The pilot suggests you cover your mouths when cussing at them, since the video systems on these jets are very high tech.

Sergeant Johnson, the officer holding the radar gun, should get his dentist to check his left rear molar. It appears the filling is loose.. Also, the snap is broken on his holster.'

Semper Fi

If you can't stand behind our troops,try standing in front of them!

--

         Mahesh

--
         Mahesh

Fwd: Top This One For Speeding

Two Texas Highway Patrol Officers were conducting speeding enforcement on Hwy 77, just south of Kingsville , Tx.

One of the officers was using a hand held radar device to check speeding vehicles approaching the town of Kingsville . The officers were suddenly surprised when the radar gun began reading 300 miles per hour and climbing.

The officer attempted to reset the radar gun, but it would not reset and then it suddenly turned off.

Just then a deafening roar over the Mesquite treetops on Hwy 77 revealed that the radar had in fact locked on to a USMC F/A-18 Hornet which was engaged in a low flying exercise near this, it's Naval Air home base location in Kingsville Tx.

Back at the Texas Highway Patrol Headquarters in Corpus Christi the Patrol Captain fired off a complaint to the US Naval Base Commander in Kingsville for shutting down his equipment.

The reply came back in true USMC style:

'Thank you for your letter...

You may be interested to know that the tactical computer in the Hornet had detected the presence of, and subsequently locked on to, your hostile radar equipment and automatically sent a jamming signal back to it, which is why it shut down.

Furthermore, an Air-to-Ground missile aboard the fully armed aircraft had also automatically locked on to your equipment's location.

Fortunately, the Marine Pilot flying the Hornet recognized the situation for what it was, quickly responded to the missile system alert status and was able to override the automated defence system before the missile was launched to destroy the hostile radar position on the side of Hwy 77 So. of Kingsville ...

The pilot suggests you cover your mouths when cussing at them, since the video systems on these jets are very high tech.

Sergeant Johnson, the officer holding the radar gun, should get his dentist to check his left rear molar. It appears the filling is loose.. Also, the snap is broken on his holster.'

Semper Fi

If you can't stand behind our troops,try standing in front of them!

--

         Mahesh

Fwd: Office T-Shirts

--

         Mahesh

Fwd: Little Johnny: A drop in the bucket.

Little Johnny: A drop in the bucket. One day, Little Johnny's grandmother sent him to the water Hole to get some water for cooking dinner. As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him. He dropped the bucket and ran back to grandma's house as fast as he could. "Where's my bucket and my water?" She asked. "I can't get any water from that water hole, there's a mean ol' alligator down there!" "Now don't you mind that ol' alligator, Johnny. He's been there for years, And he's never hurt no one. Why, he's probably as scared of you as you are of him!" "Well, Grandma," replied Johnny, "if he's as scared of me as I am of him, then that water ain't fit to drink!" --

         Mahesh

Fwd: How to avoid a shark attack.

1.  Don't swim in the ocean.  Ninety-nine percent of all shark
attacks take place in exceptionally large bodies of water known as
oceans.  The way to determine if you are currently in an ocean is to
taste the water, which should be salty.

2.  Listen out for the music.  In the event that you are foolish
enough to swim in an ocean, listen carefully for the music, as
demonstrated in the marvelous documentary film Jaws.  All shark
attacks are preceded by the "daah-da, daah-da" chords, which will
gradually become more rapid as the shark gets closer.  This is due
to the Doppler Effect.

3.  Swim with fat people.  Try to surround yourself with more
appetizing companions.  If you know them well, you might even try to
switch their suntan lotion with A-1 Steak Sauce.  This will
definitely improve your odds.

4.  Don't go into the water without a knife.  This is not to defend
yourself but to stab the other person (a.k.a.  "the decoy") closest
to you in the case of a shark attack.  Once you are sure the "decoy"
is bleeding profusely.....swim for your freakin' life.  And
finally...

5.  Don't panic.  In the event that a shark actually bites you, try
to remain calm.  This really wont help you survive, but everyone
else on the beach will appreciate you not shrieking madly, as this
is quite unsettling and can really spoil a wonderful day out.
Remember, it's not always about you!

--
         Mahesh